Home for Christmas
by Capturedribbons
Summary: Time to head back home for Christmas. Yohji Pov. Omi+(x)Ken Songfic


Title- Home for Christmas  
  
Author- Locura  
  
Warnings- Yohji pov. Former KenxOmi current Omi+Ken  
  
Disclaimer- The Weiß Kreuz chara's aren't mine, I'm just barrowing them. Don't sue, I own nothing but an Omi pen and 4 dvd's.  
  
DEDICATED To all who have lost loved ones during the holiday season.  
  
Author Notes- This story has fought me threw the three months of its attempted creation. It messed with my mind and refused to go done correctly until I put it down for weeks on end. It fought me. But perhaps, now that I take a moment to think, it might have been me fighting it. I hope you enjoy.  
  
***=Beginning and Ending  
  
~blah~= something directly from the past- generally something said, small flashback  
  
-He-= stressed word, specific person. Would be bold or italicized if I html this  
  
One last warning- it gets kinda strange at the end. Heck the whole things strange.  
  
***  
  
/Its time to pack out bags and hit the highway/  
  
Well, its time to go back for a reunion of sorts. Been past time, actually, and its depressing to think that I'm not looking forward to it like I used to.  
  
I've never been a big fan of Christmas. It could just pass like another day and I wouldn't have noticed. Except now, of course, because -he- made it interesting and insisted that we celebrate. Without his cheer and enthusiasm I wouldn't be surprised if not one of us noticed or gave gifts.  
  
This Christmas will be sad though, and according to him it should be happy.  
  
Happy, eh? Unless that's a new synonym for 'Tear Fest' then I doubt that will be the word to describe this get together.  
  
This year all Christmas will be is a time that drags out until everyone's sad, the foods cold, I've ran out of cigarettes, and Omi's locked himself back up in his room refusing to let anyone in.  
  
Not that I blame him.  
  
Not that anyone blames him.  
  
/And head on back for Christmas holidays/  
  
My car is currently moving under five miles an hour down a highway, bumper-to-bumper traffic as far as the eye can see and my temper's almost getting the best of me. And it's all because of these stupid carols that continue to blare from every station in every car around me except for a few here and there.  
  
Guess its no surprise I've gone threw two packs of cigarettes and still have miles to go.  
  
By the time Weiß was disbanded and we all moved away to chase our own dreams we had become closer then most people, heck we were closer then most siblings. So we stayed in touch and visited now and again.  
  
Omi was staying with -him-, as lovers who had enough money to never work but the kid went to college anyway and -he- was a soccer coach. Aya/Ran became a banker, still watching his sister closely and grilling her boyfriends mercilessly whenever he had the chance. And I just hung around. I had saved a nice goose egg and was set for the rest of my life.  
  
Bet you never saw that one coming.  
  
That however, was before our third Christmas together after we disbanded.  
  
/I'll fall apart when I pull in the driveway  
  
Its First time home sense Brother past away/  
  
As I drive up the little driveway to Omi's small house I have to pause and try to banish the tears from my eyes. I'm sure I'm not the only one that has had to do that today either.  
  
I'm the oldest of us all, and while I may not seem like a reliable person sometimes, I don't want to know what my tears would do to the others inside. It would break them again, I think, and considering last year we don't need any more hits to the system.  
  
/His favorite time of year was always Christmas/  
  
I stop to look up at the house from the path, just looking at all the decorations that somehow made their way to the roof and porch again this year. Just like last year and the year before and the first year before that; the outside is decorated beautifully. Lights are strung around the roof, with fake ice sickles draping the pipes and a glowing Santa's on the porch, though this time I don't have the heart to stick a cigarette in his plastic mouth or attach a bear can to his mitten. -He- never liked it when I did that.  
  
I can't imagine how sad Omi must have been, putting up the decorations alone this year. He always had the best time setting up with the older boy and watching as -he- jumped around excitedly, bouncing from one task to another.  
  
/Reminisce the days gone by/  
  
I can almost hear them, Omi laughing, his apron covered in cookie dough, as -he- half hugged me before spotting the remodeled glowing Santa and chasing me around the house. If I close my eyes for a moment I can see it and with it hear the whispers of the yells of laughter that was this house and time.  
  
I guess some traditions will have to go this year.  
  
/Oh how I wish he was still here with us/  
  
I ring the doorbell and it hums the carol of the year for a moment before Omi appears in the doorway, a cheery smile forced upon his lips and bits of frosting on his face.  
  
"Yohji! You made it!" He looks like he wants to hug me but isn't quite sure if he should so I do it for him, sweeping him up in a bear hug and spinning him around, noticing that he feels lighter this year.  
  
"Ah, Chibi! Did you doubt I would?" I wink at him. "And miss out on homemade goodies? I think not!"  
  
He giggles, and it sounds forced but I let it go as he bounces to the kitchen.  
  
"I wasn't sure, Ran and Aya came earlier but had to leave a while ago because they had plans with Aya's fiancé and in-laws. they'll be here later tomorrow though." I watch as Omi picks up a knife, getting ready to start again at his Gingerbread house and I feel my tempter surface a moment before falling away, a temper is not what Omi needs right now. But I can't help but wonder how Ran could leave him with any peace if mind this year? He knew how bad this holiday's probably going to be. "I thought I might be alone this time until then."  
  
"Nope!" I walk over and swing an arm over his shoulders and give him a side hug. "You're stuck with me this year Kiddo!"  
  
My heart aches for him when he closes his eyes, his hand with the knife trembling slightly. "I'm glad. I didn't want to be alone."  
  
/My memories of him will never die/  
  
This night is the night before Christmas. A night that seems to bring alive the memories of years past even more strongly then normal.  
  
Omi's curled up in -his- old chair, a blanket covering his body as he reads "The Night Before Christmas" to himself while I just stare at the fire from the couch unsure of what to do. The boy seems so calm for what happened nearly a year ago, but I'm sure it's just the calm before the storm.  
  
It was always -his- job to read "The Night Before Christmas" to everyone before we hung up our stockings and went to bed. -He- always stood in front of the fireplace, his voice lowering just so and posture upright as he told everyone the story as if we were children.  
  
After that Ran would grumble and Aya would pull her brother up to enthusiastically to put their stockings up with me yawning and making jokes in the background. Omi would pull his lover to the couch as we left and both of them would cuddle there until they thought everyone was asleep. It was then they both set up the gifts they'd gotten everyone, plus the others marked from "Santa" and filled the stockings.  
  
It's not going to be like that this year. Never again will -he- read that story and cuddle with his lover before happily playing Santa. Its not going to be like before no matter what happens.  
  
/When the stockings are hung/  
  
"Omi?" I say hesitantly. He's just been staring at the tree for over an hour now, the book still griped tightly in his hands. He looks at me and I notice his eyes are dry still, but wide, as if he's just been shocked. "Should we put up the stockings?"  
  
I could kick myself then. But he just nods and moves mechanically to the fireplace to put out the fire and put up the stockings I'm sure won't be filled this year.  
  
"If you need me tonight you know where I'll be. " I'm turning to go, I know I shouldn't leave him alone at all but who knows how he'll react if I'm fallowing him around like I'm worried he's going to drop dead any minute. He'd probably lock himself up inside more and he doesn't need to do that. This way he knows I'm here for him. I only hope he takes me up on my offer instead of ignoring it.  
  
There will be no sleep for me tonight, I know without trying that it won't happen.  
  
/Silent Night has been song/  
  
It's nearing midnight. I've been staring at the ceiling for a good while now and I can hear Silent Night playing downstairs.  
  
And Omi's crying.  
  
I know he is, I can almost feel it. But what should I do? Comfort him, I know. I'm not that dense. But I'm sure as soon as I reach the last step he'll throw on a smile and run off to his room, calling out an apology for waking me. He'd do that because that's the way he is and I know it because I've seen him do it a million times before.  
  
.Silent Night.holy night.  
  
Yeah it's silent. Just like the year before. I laugh at myself and pull out another cigarette. People die and then they die on the inside. I've seen it all before and heard that much more. Nonsense about one lover not lasting without his other. Bunch of bull if you ask me.  
  
What really happens is what's happening downstairs right now.  
  
/Christmas is finally here  
  
Wont be the same this year/  
  
It's past midnight now. I can't hear anything from downstairs anymore. Maybe Omi finally fell asleep?  
  
No. I don't think he did. He's only shut off the music and probably staring into space as I look out this window.  
  
It's snowing now. Just little flakes of the white stuff that used to make -him- so happy. -He'd- be jumping and hollering by now, waking everyone up to listen to him jabbering about Christmas Snow and what it meant.  
  
I'm laughing now, quietly. -He'd- also be mad at all of us now, if -he- were here. -He'd- be griping about how I should be down there with Omi and how Ran and Aya should as well.  
  
It hurts to remember last year. It pains me to look at this house and remember all the things I forced myself to forget. Its funny that a small bit of my conscience seems to have started to sound like him now when I'm forced to remember.  
  
I don't see how Omi does it. I don't see how he could live and see all these reminders day in a day out without grieving. He's much stronger then I, that for sure.  
  
I take a drag from my cigarette and smash it on the windowsill. Just twenty-four more hours. Sounds like last year's memories.  
  
~"I'm sorry..he has only a few hours left.best make the best of it."~  
  
I'm counting them down. I wonder if everyone else is as well.  
  
/Losing my big brother hurt so badly  
  
Helped me learn what Christ really means/  
  
I finally make my way down the stairs around five in the morning. Another tradition. -He- and Omi always woke us all up at Five am to open presents. Such an ungodly hour if you ask me but who am I to mess with it.  
  
Though I probably would if I wasn't so worried about the one left behind.  
  
It seems though, as I look slowly around the glowing room, the ornaments sparkling on the tree and presents gleaming from the floor, my worries from the night were well founded: Omi has left the house and I have to stop myself from panicking. I've lost one close friend; I don't want to lose another especially not on the same day like this. It'd be bad to find out that those old folks were right about the lover's thing.  
  
I take out my last pack of cigarettes and slowly search the house, even though there's not much to search. But he's truly gone and I curse, this scenario seeming much too familiar for my taste.  
  
/There's nothing more important then your family/  
  
It doesn't take a genius to figure out where Omi went. I should have realized it the moment I stepped down the last stair. It really would have saved me a lot of time, but I wasn't thinking then. Or maybe I was thinking too much. But as I speed down the road in my car I can only start on my sixth cancer stick of the hour and hope the boy hasn't caught his death by riding his motorcycle in this weather.  
  
The snow has turned to slushy mush that can't rightfully be called rain or snow.  
  
Damn Ran and Aya for not being here and knowing how to handle the grieving boy. Damn -him- for leaving and damn myself for not realizing sooner.  
  
We were a family. A strange and messed up, non-genetically related family, but a family nonetheless and I don't want to see it get any smaller.  
  
My car and I reach the cemetery remotely unscathed and it takes a moment to ketch my bearings. I haven't been here sense last year and everything seems much larger then it did before. I can only seem to remember watching the casket being lowered into the cold hard earth as Omi began to wail.  
  
/We're all the children of the king of kings/  
  
I turn onto the left path and hope it was the right choice. I remember vaguely there being some large group of trees where the grave had been placed but other then that my mind draws a blank. I shouldn't have worried too much though because as my hastily thrown on tennis shoes soak cold threw I could hear Omi.  
  
His voice wavers and I suspect he's crying again so I stop. I'll give him a few more moments before making him go back home, or at least give him my coat to warm him a little.  
  
Listening hard, past the wind and sounds of slush hitting the branches, I can just make out Omi's voice. I would have thought he'd be crying or talking about how much he missed -him- but instead I hear him tell, although shakily, "The Night Before Christmas".  
  
I was about to intrude upon my friend, for his own good when I stop once again for the last line.  
  
"But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!" " Omi's voice faded after that and it's only by luck that I hear the last words. "I'm sorry I'm late Ken. I meant to come last night, but Yohji was there and I didn't want to scare him by leaving that late."  
  
I close my eyes when I see him shiver. I want to give him his jacket but I think he might need this venting more then he does a coat and friend.  
  
"Oh Ken." He's resting his forehead on the cold stone in front of him; I can see him now that I've moved a bit and opened my eyes again. "Why did you have to do such a silly thing? I miss you so much, you know."  
  
His shoulders begin shaking and I can see his eyes are tightly shut as tears begin flowing and freezing on his face.  
  
"Why, Ken? Why did you have to go?"  
  
I can't help but try and go to him. He doesn't deserve to morn like this alone. Sometimes it's best if you lean on someone rather then take it all in yourself. He's not healing this way.  
  
But as I take the first step towards the young boy I feel a hand hold me back and when I turn to look I find that its Ran, or Aya as we used to call him. I frown at him and go to move towards Omi again but the red- haired man glares at me and shakes his head, quietly whispering 'No'.  
  
I don't understand him. I never have but I stay still feeling myself be torn apart as the youngest of us sobs into the hard marble underneath him.  
  
"What did I do wrong?" Gasping breaths that freeze in mid air to dance around the trees. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Ken. So sorry."  
  
/When the stockings are hung  
  
Silent Night has been song/  
  
Ran makes me stay behind the trees until Omi finally falls into an exhausted sleep on the tombstone. Its then, and only then, he lets me go and pick him up. He doesn't explain and I don't ask. What's just occurred was probably what was needed for our youngest, though I don't feel any better about letting him break down in front of me.  
  
-He'd- probably be screaming at us by now. But all we do is pile into my car, leave Omi's motorcycle there, and turn on the heat full blast.  
  
And wouldn't you know it? As soon as the car jumps to life, Silent Night begins playing again.  
  
I leave the radio on this time. It's Christmas after all and -he- would like it.  
  
I light another cigarette as we pass another stop sign, the only sound that continues after the song is Omi's thick breathing and the sound of the engine as it purrs.  
  
/Christmas is finally here  
  
Wont be the same this year/  
  
Aya's at Omi's when we get there, hot chocolate and tea ready for all with a turkey in the oven and cookies warm and ready.  
  
The snow, and its real snow this time, has begun to fall again and I can hear one of -his- CD's playing in the background as Ran and I strip Omi from his wet cloths and wrap him in blankets in front of the fire.  
  
/When the stockings are hung/  
  
Presents still wait under the tree for us all and all the stockings are still full. I wonder if we'll open them this year or leave them to gather dust.  
  
I throw out my last two cigarettes as I stare into the fire, side by side with Ran sandwiching Omi's sleeping form, I don't think they'll be any help to me now.  
  
If I don't want to see anyone else leave I don't think its fair of me to try to leave them any sooner.  
  
-He- didn't like it, and Omi never has. 'Cigarettes are bad for you!' They always told me. Guess I can't rely on cancer to kill me now.  
  
/Silent Night has been song  
  
Christmas is finally here/  
  
It's funny today.  
  
Omi's still curled up between Ran and I as Aya tries to feed us. Its now, as we are all together I can almost feel -his- presence. I can almost hear -him- laughing at us from wherever he is and its almost like I can see him standing by the tree and adjusting the star.  
  
It's also funny how we're all just a family. And though this family has suffered loss, one that can never be changed or replaced. I think we'll all be stronger for it later. And when we're all done, he'll still be waiting for us.  
  
Waiting for Omi especially and waiting to yell at me I suspect.  
  
I laugh quietly, getting a strange look from the others present.  
  
I'm glad I went home for Christmas.  
  
/Wont be the same this year/  
  
Merry Christmas Ken.it won't be the same without you. But perhaps now we'll all be able to move on.  
  
*** 


End file.
